Have Your Laughs [nsfw]

"You will give up a bit of your happiness to make me happy? I really...can't let my guard down with you at all can I?" Lakshmi made a small sound as she buried her face in her hands. She hated how he made her stomach flip flop like that. Still she was smiling just a tiny bit, his sincere wish to help just breaking her heart. "...Of course I will. Let you help that is."

Giving a deep sigh, she felt miserable for her actions. It seemed Kaimu thought... Oh no... Speaking quickly, her voice quickly lowered. "Your advice was perfectly good. I am sorry if it...seems like I am blowing it off. I'm really not. It is just taking a bit to sink in. It is just...grandfather rules that place with an iron fist. I do not see how I can ever see them again... even if I live to Gigi's age. He hates me and I still love him. It hurt seeing his anger and having it directed at me. I felt..."

It was like a damn broke, words spilling out and she shook slightly, admitting all this to someone other than the family in that moment. They all seemed to think she was doing better than she had... "I felt like a child again. The child he wanted me to be, his little...successor that was always a disappointment. When I arrived in the Soul Society... Gigi had high hopes for me but she never treated me like he did. So...how can I still love him and want to make him happy and yet...hate him more than anyone else?"

"I see...that's...quite a problem. It sounds horrible, having a family member hate you, then...who am I to talk about that?" He gave a small, low laugh. He couldn't exactly preach that. Tatsuo's dad wasn't...true family, but he was still his brother's father...but Kaimu hated him with basically every fiber of his being. It certainly wasn't the same as Lakshimi's situation but...

Kaimu brought a hand to her back, rubbing it gently as an attempt at comfort.

"Family is...is an extremely important thing, it's foolish to write someone off simply because they're doing something that you didn't envision for them...Family should be cherished. Not hated...but, those mixed feelings...they're understandable, and quite complicated. Loving someone, but hating them at the same time...maybe that's just what family is sometimes, they frustrate you...and anger you, make you want to just...lose it yet you still can't help but love them."

"Who do you hate then?" Lakshmi ran through what she knew of Kaimu in her head, wanting to know more about the man and lifting her head up just a bit. One icy blue eye showed as she looked over at him, her body relaxing obviously as he rubbed her back soothingly. She couldn't help smiling a bit at that, the small bit of physical comfort meaning a lot more than she could show.

His words though cut to her heart and she choked back a small sob, hiding her face again. This was ridiculous to be talking about here in the open. Lakshmi's voice was rather soft and sad as she spoke, as well as slightly muffled. "It really is... I wish he could see that, but... Thank you... You speak so truly. Complicated...is a bit of an understatement... Why...can't I just have feelings that aren't full of complication? You really do understand don't you? How...utterly ridiculous..."

"Tatsuo's dad." Kaimu replied. "He walked out on us when our mother needed him most. Raising two kids, and keeping your own health up while being a poor family out in the Rukon is borderline impossible...I never considered him family, but he was still my brother's father...the amount of times Tatsu asked me why he left when we were kids...asking me if his dad didn't love us anymore...I can't promise I'd really think before acting if I saw him again..."

He continued rubbing her back, hopefully helping at least a little as she worked through her emotions and what he'd said.

"Family itself can be complicated...I guess I just...learned as I went along."

"You hide your temper well... But you really do have one. You wouldn't be in the wrong to do that to someone like that..." Lakshmi winced, Kaimu had adored his brother... From everything he himself had said and everything they talked about, it was obvious. To be asked such a question and have nothing but pain to give as the answer. He had told her about the man walking about before but...

Hate. She could see that emotion for such a thing. One arm moved from around herself and she settled it on Kaimu's thigh, squeezing softly and hopefully giving comfort in return. She sighed and moved slightly, a small smile coming to the face that could now be seen as she looked up at him. "Thank you. Just...thank you."

His words had...obviously touched her and made her feel a bit better. Her smile was a lot lighter than before. "You learned well then. I am sorry you had to though."

Kaimu gave another chuckle. "Guess so."

He certainly wasn't all smiles and laughs, but Lakshimi knew that. He had his good moments, and his not so good moments, just like any other person.

"Welcome." He continued, his tone soft as Lakshimi thanked him. "I'm happy I can help, and be here for you to talk to."

As Kaimu spoke Lakshmi had to stifle a chuckle, guess so was an understatement. Finally straightening out, the shinigami stretched out her arms above her head and worked out a few kinks in her neck and back with small sounds. "Ah, if only I could get more backrubs back in the Seireitei. Maybe I should have more mopey days and someone will come by and massage me?"

She was being playful, but it wasn't forced this time. It was good to admit things sometimes and her heart felt lighter, she glanced over at Kaimu and gave him a warm smile. "I am glad you were here to listen. You are a good friend... I really appreciate it."

Lakshimi had earned another chuckle, "I'm glad you it helped, and that you found it nice."

He would offer more to her, but in their lighter mood it could be taken as more than just a comforting gesture, which, right now, wasn't something she needed to think about...or he thought anyway. He just wanted to help her, and help her feel better, which right now, seemed to be working to some degree.

He gave her another smile though, "Thank you. I'm happy to hear you think that."

"Even if you gave the worst backrubs in the world, they are way too welcome for me to ever think any are bad. I sometimes regret taking the Captain's position, not enough pay out for so much work." Lakshmi sighed and looked around hopefully for Kaimu's bag of food. "Is there any more of those buns? They are pretty good, even if a little weak."

Looking at Kaimu with a slightly resigned headshake, she waved her hand. "You need to stop...thanking me for silly things that don't need it. Welcome though."

"Good to know, if you're ever in need then call for me." He laughed; again, he was glad the back rubs had helped her. "Working as a captain must be stressful, I can hardly imagine all that work."

When she brought up the food, his smile brightened.

"Mhmm, here." Kaimu reached for the food bag, pulling out another bun for her before handing it to her. "Hnnn, I think they deserve thanks though, even if you do think they're silly things to be thanked for."

"I shall then, just to see you sneak into and through the seireitei to get to my house. Kaimu, fly by night rogue back massages. Start your own business..." The image was just perfect and she was laughing after having spoken, just...wishing to savor that thought. Lakshmi did nod though, accepting another bun before speaking.

"Sometimes I envy you this freedom... but I really wouldn't even want to trade places with you. It... is my calling. I have the power and abilities, I have to put them to good use, I would feel miserable otherwise." Taking a bit of the bun she chewed it thoughtfully, feeling fine with admitting it. "But...its a nice wish. A nice...dream."

At his rather nice response to her not wanting to be thanked, she tilted her head back. "I...just...have trouble being thanked honestly. I am sorry Kai-tan. It is nice to hear your thanks...honestly."

"Guess I'll need to work on my stealth skills." Kaimu winked, giving another laugh himself as Lakshimi began eating. "It's...nice, but, I just wish you all didn't have to take such a risk just to see me. Being so cautious gets...frustrating."

Sometimes, he did fear eventually...it just wouldn't be seen as worth it, but, he was happy for now, so he pushed aside those fears.

"I'm trying to stick to closer districts, to be easier to find but...I still need to switch where I am every so often, with the phone though, it'll be a lot easier! I'm glad, that my thanks are nice to hear as well..."

Lakshmi burst into uncontrollable giggles at Kaimu's wink and words, smiling brightly. She was obviously recovered from her malaise before, for now at least. His next set of words though and what they meant...made the giggles slow down and stop. Looking down at her bun, she sighed and leaned over.

Pressing her lips against his very very softly, Lakshmi held them there for a brief moment before pulling away. Looking into his eyes, she reached up and pressed his nose with a rather determined look in her eyes. "I wish we didn't either... But it is worth all the frustration and more."

She smiled as his reminder about the phone was nice, nodding as she held up her bun. "It really will be. You can talk to Mia whenever you want too then, just call her up and catch up on her day or small things like that. With the phone, if you need to leave and go a bit away she'll still be able to have contact with you all the time."

He stilled at the kiss, and his smile softened at her words after she'd pulled back some. "I'm...Really, it makes me happy to hear that the frustration is worth it."

When she mentioned that he could talk to Mia on the phone, his eyes widened some. "That...That might get bothersome though. I don't know her schedule or anything, and even then they can be...hectic, and I wouldn't want to interrupt her time with Shirakawa..." Or would he... "Ahaha...I think I'm just being overly worried about it...but, still..."

It'd be for the best if she and the others would be the one to call him, they were busy, and held much more serious jobs than he did. He could answer calls easily, but with making them he was unsure..."

"Good. I spent a perfectly good kiss making sure you understood." Lakshmi smiled softly, glad to see Kaimu pleased as well... He needed to not worry about stupid things like that, if he even was. It never hurt to make sure.

As his eyes widened though, she went back to her bun with an air of innocence once again. She was glad she had reassured him how she had. It took literally all of her immense willpower to not fall into giggle fits again though. Seeing Kaimu like this was...strange and endearing. He really loved that girl. Nodding, she hmmed. "You are being overly worried. I will be sure to inform her her father is a rather silly man who needs constant reassurance about the acceptability of such calls. If I were...say someone who could see my father and had just met him? I would be pleased to get a call from him."

Her voice was feigned nonchalance, though she was teasing a bit... Smiling she did laugh again. "I understand... Do not worry so much Kai. If you need to practice getting up the courage...call Norma repeatedly. I'm sure annoying her would be a fun activity."

"I'll try to do a few calls myself then." Kaimu smiled, "and hopefully I won't...be interrupting anything important."

He was worrying too much, and from the time they'd spent together, he felt Mia would be perfectly happy to receive calls from him. He'd enjoyed spending time with her, and hoped once she had his contact information would enjoy his calls as much as Lakshimi imagined she would.

He couldn't help but give a laugh when she brought up calling Norma. "She'd probably appreciate it the first couple of times, but too many and I think she might even snap on me."

"Mm, the library tends to close at night. Maybe try later on instead of during the day." Having no real idea of the girl's potential schedule, she did know a bit about the Library's hours herself so she gave him that small bit of advice.

"But then it would be all over with, your worst fear and with the worst person possible. After that Mia or I... Our annoyance would be small fry comparatively." Lakshmi flushed a bit at assuming he'd want to call and talk to her too. Kaimu was her friend yes, but she held no real... assumptions he would.

"True...though, still, I'd hate to upset you or Mia with calls." He replied, another sheepish laugh coming out. "Later calls though, those would probably be best, right. It'd be...busy during the day."

At least when it was later, they would likely be off the clock for the night. If he called then, then maybe it'd be alright.

"...I-I will not be upset. Call me however much you want." Lakshmi looked to the side and stuffed the bun in her mouth, trying to cover for the rather obvious way she had spoken. Nodding in agreement, days were busy for people who had straight schedules.

He was being such a worrier over this...

Kaimu gave a happy nod, "Alright, I'll call occasionally!"

He had a phone now, he could talk to everyone much more freely now. He also had a way of traveling to the human world if he wanted but...for now there wasn't a reason to. Though, the occasional trip to the human world could be fun.

"Good!" Grinning brightly, Lakshmi felt her heart jump. Damn this stupid rogue. She liked Alex...but also Kaimu and it would be bad to get calls from him when she was trying to fight off her attraction. Moving to stand, she stretched again and sighed.

"I might see if I can hop into someone senkaimon and spend the rest of the day in the living world. I'll have to be sneaky, if anyone sees me when I am pretending to be sick for the next few days I'll get in trouble."

"The World of the Living would be nice to visit." Kaimu replied, smiling. "Wouldn't using a Senkaimon be a bit risky though? Aren't they monitored? If you sneaked off and they caught you you could get into trouble..."

Reaching into his sleeve, he pulled out the device that opened gargantas. He...this was something he could trust Lakshimi with. "Would this be of any help? Better than a monitored Senkaimon..."

Kaimu was right, they were monitored and watched carefully. A captain would be given a limiter of course and with a recent event involving a young captain they would be a bit moreso... However Lakshmi was going to reveal her trump card to Kaimu, a medical sheet she wrote for herself prescribing a few mental health days and also Masaru's number in her phone... But as he reached into his sleeve and pulled out a rather... interesting surprise.

"...I'm not going to ask how you got something like that. Do not tell me..." That...was strict contraband, more than the phone...THAT would end him in cuffs if he was caught with it. She broke into laughter, smiling brightly. "That would be of great help... But you have to come with me, Kai-tan."

His laugh was sheepish once more at her response. He knew how...bad it was for him to be carrying these around. He could get into serious trouble, then again, he was a rogue...might as well do...rogue things like hold items illegal to him.

"I don't mind coming along, I do have a gigai as well." From the last time he went, which he had never told her about.

"I am going to sit here and not ask questions to things that are driving me up the wall with curiosity... You know, with that you really could come give me backrubs whenever. Your business may end up working out after all." Laughing a bit, Lakshmi bent down to pick up her basket from before. The flowers were wilted a bit but the fabric was fine.

"Can you open it inside of my house or would I need to do a place that precise? My gigai is there, unfortunately."