Go on and spill it

She had to let go to see him, but Selena was reluctant to and let them both fall from his face to make herself more easily visible. At least if she could see his face she'd be happier...Their eyes locked as Julian began his own heartfelt admission.

"...It...bothers you?" Now THAT was a surprise. Selena was legitimately shocked and stared up at Julian, falling back after a few moments as she began laughing her butt off. How had she not noticed?! A rather frustrated noise was telling her a lot... He didn't like it... He didn't like thinking of her...

"If-If it helps..." Selena had to pause due to laughter, "I don't think anyone but Luca and you are for me... It seems I've settled a bit..."

She didn't know if that'd be cold comfort or not, but she felt odd saying it outloud at the least. Odd and not a bit unhappy with the admission at least.

Julian pursed his lips, not dignifying that with a response at first, only responding with a little growl when she fell over laughing, taking a moment to sulk a little. Of course it bothered him.. She.. It.. Aggghhhh. He gave a small little huff, before one eye turned to her while she laughed. He finally broke and laughed a little himself.

"I suppose... that helps a little." He scooted over a bit and laid a hand lazily on her stomach while she was still fallen over. "I'm just greedy, I guess." He said with a little amused snort, eye roaming up her figure briefly as he considered tickling her before deciding against it.

"Come on. We should eat before it gets cold."

"Well it should. It's not like I like thinking of you with anyone... I just don't have any place to speak when I have Luca. I may be a possessive bitch with a stick up my ass but I'm fair." Selena spoke softly as she laid there, amused by Julian's obvious signs of sulking. How adorable~ She would relish them though. Huffs, pouty face and all~

Still his laughter was a relief and she looked down briefly at the hand he settled on her stomach, before smiling up at him. "You can be greedy if I can... Hey don't even THINK about it."

Julian was thinking awful evil things and she rolled over out of his reach once he said they should eat. No need for him to think twice on that... Instead she popped up without help, brushing her sweater off and pulling it down before moving onto her hair. "We'll eat, it is cold already but I've had worse..."

Julian frowned again, a more melancholy sort of frown than before. He didn't know what to say... He'd never really thought of how she'd feel about his... other activities. To be fair, he hadn't been entirely aware she would care at all. He winced noticeably at her insults of herself, but didn't fight her on it. He thought she was wrong, but that wouldn't be a very fruitful argument.

"Hey..." He smiled as she got up. "You can't blame me." He got up, straightening his shirt a bit and sitting back down in the chair. If anything he was surprised she hadn't fought the idea of going back to eating. "Yeah. I've had worse reasons to let food get cold too." He was glad they'd had this talk... and glad she got some things off her chest. He looked down at his food and jabbed at it a few times on that thought.

Despite the wince he gave, Selena pretended not to notice that it was for her sake. She just smiled and blinked a bit blankly, not wanting to fight him on things she knew were utterly true. It wasn't like she was deaf or blind, her own faults were pretty fucking obvious to herself by this point.

"I can! Tickling me after such emotional dealings would be cruel and just to think of it. Hmph." Selena was teasing just a bit, returning to her normal smiling self (Least when alone with Julian) though it was quickly replaced by an almost thoughtful frown. She was thinking about something else she needed to tell him and it was obvious something was on her mind.

She settled in her seat, glancing at the handsome man's poking of his food with a raised eyebrow before she picked up her own fork. "There are no reasons for cold food."

Taking a bite, she knew he'd know it was entirely hypocritical of her considering she ate most lunches at work cold.

He chuckled softly, glad there was at least some return to her normal self, though he was under no illusions that she was all better. Things had just been... trying for her. He frowned, poking at his food for another minute before taking a bite. "No, I had a plan. The tickling would have led to comforting sex. See? Thoughtful." He looked up with a slight smirk.

He returned to eating in quiet. Even distracted by his own thoughts, he noticed something was still weighing on her. After a moment, he stopped eating and leaned forward a bit. "Out with it." He said, reaching out to lightly pap her on the hand with his fork. "Honesty, right?" He asked. He knew that it was only natural for things to be secret, even with a... oh god, were they a couple? But.. it would be a bad start to do so right now.

Selena waited for Julian's snark filled potential reply and got a playful teasing one. Aaah. How nice. She laughed and shook her head, waving her empty fork vaguely in his direction. "Aha, genius but for one major flaw. I don't think it could have ended in comforting sex right now. I'm a bit sexed out for the moment. Oh, maybe this might be too much for you... Too many shocking admissions for one night! You might break under all the stress, tsk tsk."

She was all set to leave it at that and eat but Julian noticed her rather distracted mind... Staring at the fork for a moment, she sighed and decided to at least explain.

"I don't think telling you about my family's murders is appropriate for dinner. Kind of appetite ruining I've found." Selena snarked a bit, but well thinking about that made her a little upset. She took a bite of the food, still pretty good even cold though she wasn't the greatest at telling anymore.

Julian chuckled a little bit, before taking another bite. She really must be out of sorts if 'sexed out' was currently a term in her lexicon. Still, he wasn't serious, but he was fairly sure she knew that. He gave an amused sniff at the chiding and tsking. Well, she must be somewhat better if she was talking down to him.

Or she was till he made her dredge that up. He looked down, frowning, chomping away at his food. He didn't know how to follow up with that... But he didn't want this to just sink into silence either... Maybe he should share with her? But share WHAT. He... wasn't exactly ready to go spilling any big secrets. He was sure she didn't want to hear about his sex life. "Did you know..." He poked at his food for a moment.

"Did you know you're the only person I'd call a friend?" It wasn't a secret but.. it was true... He had family... family enough anyway... He was friendLY with people... and while they were clearly more than friends, they were still friends too. "Like... I don't even really LIKE most other people..." He said with a little half snort.

Selena was fine with silence, silence was a nice thing to have right now. She wasn't really dwelling too much, mostly focusing on her food and wanting to eat something even if it was cold.

It really was pretty good, just her type of food and so Julian was forgiven for any trespasses he'd gotten recently. She couldn't think of any, so he must truly be forgiven for this. Her mind blanking it all out in response. Yes that was entirely it.

As he spoke up, she blinked and tilted her head before a brilliant smile broke across her features. She immediately stifled it and looked with with a tiny blush but... "I didn't. I didn't at all."

She poked her food for a moment before looking up and asking with her usual directness, though her eyes seemed a bit...hesitent to ask this. "What is so different about me then?"

Julian was happy that it at least seemed like she was enjoying the cooking, cold though it may be.  He supposed... if they were going to spend time together more seriously.... she would get a good taste of his cooking warm.  

He found himself trying and failing to stifle a grin that seemed to sprout up in response to hers.  The question made him furrow his brow in thought.

"I... I don't know... I guess. ... you're just the only person I don't ever think is kind of stupid... or...I guess it would be better to say... you're sort of the only person I care about."  He could say he cared about his family but they were... sort of him...

Selena was making quick work of the food, having finished more than half at this point and just took a bite to cover her previous reactions. It was good to focus on eating over thinking and she just rolled her eyes. "If you were around more you'd see I have my stupid moments. Erm, not that how much you come around is bad. I mean... Fah!"

At least her hesitance had disappeared with that response, a small smile replacing it. She was the only person he cared about... Selena chuckled and leaned her head down on her hand, hair spilling over her shoulder but not anywhere near her food as she watched Julian for a moment. "I don't have that many either... Maybe five people. At most who I do..."

"How did I just do that? I amaze myself. Get an emotionless Arrancar to fall in love and a sexy honeypot to care about me?" She waved her fork at the greatest cosmic joke in all of existence. There was obvious awe in her voice, quite a bit of happiness as well... "And all before I am old enough to legally drink in a large portion of the countries I have houses."

If he had wanted her distracted, it had worked.

He looked up from his food, giving her a wry grin, but not responding to the comment. He was pretty sure he'd seen enough of what she probably considered her stupid moments. But that... It was different. Everyone had stupid moments. He knew the difference between seeing people with their guard down and them just being stupid.

He smiled in particular when she got tripped up over her words. Hrm. Five people? Him, Kostya... Luca... Who the hell were the other two? Well.. One was probably the guy she'd fallen out with... Who was number five? She had said maybe... Maybe there was only 4? 5 could be Adam... Did she really care about that guy? Maybe she was giving her pets a spot. Ehhh, no, they probably ranked above all of them...

He grinned, finally unable to maintain silence. "Well, mostly by owning property in countries where they think you should be able to die for your country before having a beer." He said, at least opening with a smart ass. "And hey. Honeypot is only like.... 40% of my job. The other 60% is sabotage and murder." He said nonchalantly as can be, while taking a bite.

"And really, I don't know any more than you do. This started with 'Hey, gorgeous boss woman at work, you want to have sex?' and now..." He paused before displaying a rare blush, which he quickly tried to hide by focusing on eating his food.

Selena did not know Julian's thoughts but there were obviously some he wouldn't want to speak of. She could accept it and that of his wry grin, knowing she had been a little silly and he probably felt she wasn't too stupid. He had just said as much...

"I prefer to have houses where I can at least speak the language, which severely limits my drinking options. Or would, if not for amazing fake IDs." Selena gave a wry grin of her own that quickly morphed into a smirk as she politely clapped. "Ooooh~ But honeypot is such a nicer title than murder or saboteur. Actually I kind of like saboteur. I just murder companies bank accounts and balls really. And their egos."

That blush would have been teasing material if Selena didn't feel her face light up just as much at his words. She rolled her eyes and attempted nonchalance, as if his words hadn't drove a giant spike of feelings through her heart and body. Unfortunately for her, her eager eating earlier gave her not much food to focus on and she went silent as she looked away.

He smirked at her comment about the IDs. Fake IDs tended to be amazing when you had her kind of money to throw at them. He could vouch to that... Vera had saved an absolute boatload of money by Adam knowing about her powers ahead of time. Making papers that can fool the government was already difficult. Papers that would have fooled an multi-billion dollar organization of Quincies? That would have been a REAL divot in their finances.

He lost control of himself and laughed, a small lighthearted noise, at the her joking about job titles and quickly cleared his throat, glancing away for a moment, before looking back and finding her awkwardly trying to find something else to focus on. After a brief moment he stood up.

He walked over and leaned down, moving in before gently kissing her on her cheek of all places. "Come on." He took her hand and lightly gestured for her to get up. "Let's go.. sit on the couch. We can.. I don't know... watch TV or read or just... talk." He quickly gave a frustrated sigh, feeling three hundred percent stupid right now. "L-Look." If he was going to sound this stupid, he'd at least be straightforward about it.

"I don't cuddle often so just... come cuddle up on the couch with me."

At least Julian was amused by all of this joking... It made her feel better to see him smirking and teasing, Selena was able to admit to herself. Julian wasn't Julian if he didn't poke fun or tease...

"Hm? Julian?" As he stood up, her eyes were drawn to the half dressed man who she normally would be oogling about now but couldn't bare to at the moment. He moved closer, bending down to kiss her cheek as she let out a soft breath... Selena smile then as she accepted his hand holding, squeezing back and moving to stand.

"...Sure. I think that would be nice. I have some manga I've been wanting to read under the coffee table actually..." She could tell him about her family and they could cuddle and relax afterwards. There was no reason to tease right now actually, due to this. They both needed just calming.

Julian was feel all sorts of odd, warm things right now, which was just twelve kinds of weird. He felt like smiling, but not in any such way that made someone else feel inferior. He was truly a stranger in a strange land. He smiled, though it was halfway a smirk, noticing her hand squeeze and giving one in return.

"Manga?" He asked, with a tone that wasn't quite derisive while they headed over to the couch. "Hm. I have a family member who loves the stuff. Two, really, I guess." He felt like he was breaking a cardinal sin, mentioning family at all. It was certainly the first time he'd ever done it, but it was on his mind and if he didn't have any real history to open up to her about, he could at least discuss his weird metaphysical family.

He plopped down on the couch, glancing at the volumes. He couldn't picture himself digging into a volume, but everyone had their interests....

Shit, did he even have interests...?

"I find it fun. It also helps me perfect my reading japanese instead of just speaking." Selena's tone was almost a pout as she followed him, the warmth in her familiar though normally not brought on by Julian intentionally. He had no real idea how he made her feel but she wasn't entirely sure she was ready to tell him in spite of all the confessions from before.

"...Tell me about them? I could share manga with them then... There's a friend I could hook them up with for good ones~" Family... had he ever mentioned anything? No... never... As he plopped down, she just smiled and curled up to him while leaving the manga sitting for right now. Her sweater was big enough to cover her legs partially and she tucked them up under her to stay warmer.

"If you want I could tell you first and give you some idea how to talk about such big important things." Despite her teasing tone there was real pain and hurt in there and she stared down at his chest while waiting for a response.

He smirked as she began curling up next to him. "My little omniglot." He said, his tone teasing, but his face blushing when he realized just how ... not-casual that was to say. He felt a churning in his stomach and his chest and ugghhh, why would anyone want romantic feelings, this was so weird... But now he had them. He felt, briefly, like he'd been infected with some sort of horror movie virus that made you like people and say dumb things.

He remained quiet on the manga front. He... could maybe get their information and then Meiko or Vera could go see them individually? But it was a problem area and might raise questions and... Selena was so sharp... he didn't want to give her too much to work with.

When she wanted to... go first, he felt suddenly worse... He should just tell her no. Tell her he didn't want to hear about family, just... be cold... be ALOOF damn it... He looked down at her, staring into his chest and reached down, gently lifting her chin before giving her a swift kiss. "Only if you feel up to it, ah.." He frowned, catching any of the dumb words like 'sweetie' that were rushing towards his mouth. "N-nope. I'm not at nicknames yet." He said, face turning red and looking away.

"Hah! I wish I was one, there are so many more I can't even begin to speak..." Selena groaned at that epitaph, wishing she could have that power or ability. Uuugh. Useful. She barely noticed he had called her his omniglot, mostly focused on wanting it but as she looked up and noticed the blush it brought it back to the forefront.

A few fingers went up to his chin and neck, settling there in a soft hesitant touch despite her teasing words as her head and eyes returned to staring at his chest. "Huuuh? Yours? I'm flattered even more by you. I suppose being called that is fine then..."

"H-Hm?!" Why did she have to make that surprise sound as Julian kissed her? Selena felt more embarrassed for her actions than his, it had been obvious after he lifted her chin! All these emotions running rampant were destroying her abilities to just... deal... Especially after he brought up a nickname.

"...I don't think I could deal with nicknames either right now." She flushed as he spoke, her eyes darting aside after that sweet kiss but she left it up for him to see at least if he turned back. "I suppose I should just... start then... I'm a bit of an orphan. The last of the main line of Archiagott Quincy family in fact. Hahaha..."

He chuckled, maintaining his expression despite just how entirely enthused he was by her reactions. The awkward joking, the little surprised noises. He took a long slow breath to keep himself from doing something hasty... and even then only because she was discussing something serious... As she started talking, he immediately began to feel pangs of sympathy. He knew her family life had been messed up... that Kostya was like a father to her, but...

Well, it wasn't too hard to guess where this was going... She was part of a main line quincy and her age... He was prepared somewhat for what he was about to hear, or he thought he was anyway.

Julian squeezed her close to him, raising a hand to stroke her hair. "If you get upset, it's okay to stop." He said. He wanted to hear and he knew she wanted to tell him. He just... wanted to make sure she knew she didn't OWE him an explanation.

"Okay... So I guess its easy to tell I'm an orphan huh? Yep. Really easy. You've heard about the Quincy war, right? Well obviously but... This is hard." Selena tried to make it light, her voice soft but sweeter than normal before she gave a self deprecating laugh.

"My family was really really outspoken about some things and when Adam won and became King there was some backlash. I was five? And I guess they just were angry, really angry and so attacked an obvious target. I slept over for some sort of party and was dropped off at home... and no one else was alive." Her voice almost cracked at the end, curling up closer to Julian as if his warm would ward off the memories that still... still ran in her so strongly. No matter how light she tried to make it seem it was still obviously something that killed her every time she thought about it. "There was blood and no one moved... I couldn't figure out what to do... I had an identical twin sister, Sophia, and I crawled into her bed cause we hated to be parted... She'd been sick so she hadn't gone and there was just...blood all over... My parents and grandparents... My older brother... Kostya found me? They'd gotten word of just reprisal coming and he'd been sent to warn us. H-He took me to ihop. It was nice."

"...Yeah. Its kind of a fucked up story. Haha, least you know why I freak out over blood now and...can't sleep alone." She ended with a lame laugh and buried her face against his body. No need for him to see her crying.

It was? Well... he hadn't thought about it exactly, but now that he did... it was... she had this mansion and all these pets... no parents to speak of though... He frowned, already understanding this was going to be a lot harder for her than he'd expected. He opened his mouth to tell her... tell her she didn't have to explain... But he just... stroked her hair... let her continue and just... held her a little closer.

He hadn't devoted much time to picturing her as a child, but now that he imagined it just... a little girl coming home... happy.. no cares and then... He squeezed her tighter without even meaning to. He didn't know she'd had a twin... that was.... he couldn't... He just... listened quietly... good Kostya...

When she buried her face against him, he leaned down and kissed the top of her head, stroking her hair and just... letting her cry... "It's... I..." It wasn't fine and he wasn't even coming close to saying any three word sentences... He couldn't just say there there... but being quiet felt so terrible...

Oh god... He was going to have to tell her... He clung to her as tight as he dared, suddenly afraid of... losing her...

Selena's crying got a bit harder as she nuzzled Julian's chest, sobbing lightly as took comfort from him. It had been fourteen years but still obviously was something she freaked out and was highly hurt over. Who wouldn't be? But...for someone like Selena it was as if the pain never dulled. Time still hadn't soothed those rough edges for her and she just took the comfort Julian offered her, though she'd never expected him of all people to be like this.

He was quiet, which was nice because it meant she didn't need to respond to anything he said. His only response had been that soft attempt but that had been it...

After a few more moments though her crying slowed and she hiccuped lightly against him as she attempted to get herself back in order. He...didn't need to see her like this.

This was hell. Just... utterly awful, watching her suffer and knowing he couldn't. ... fix it. Couldn't really HELP. He just had to sit here being... there for her.. it didn't feel like enough. He suddenly felt overwhelming dread at telling her... about the family...

But he HAD to tell her. She would find out one day... and it isn't like he'd intended to hide it from her specifically. If he decided not to now... that wouldn't really be the case....

He reached down and brushed her cheek with his hand. He wasn't forcing her to look at him but he'd like her to. "Take as long as you need to." He didn't want her to stop crying on his behalf.

"No...I'm done..." For now. Selena didn't want to keep crying, she'd cried enough lately damn it and even if it was for his sake it was also for her own. She shook her head and then looked up as he brushed her cheek with his hand. Her eyes were determined, even if they were red rimmed and her nose was red at the tip as she leaned up to plant a soft kiss on his lips. Even when crying she was pretty, unlike some who had blotchy faces and horrible complexions after...

Which she would be proud of if she had the slightest idea on this. She also was lacking in the knowing what was on Julian's mind.