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 Painful Prejudices [nsfw]

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Rukuya

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PostSubject: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 5:53 am

By the time Luca arrived back, he quickly went about repairing Selena's injuries, having entered his working area with her. He'd...after discovering she was a quincy, while he'd been hurting...he'd still thought it best to research medical means of treatment that wouldn't leave her in excruciating pain because of him.

It might...require healing time in comparison to his usual methods, but not as much as it would averagely.

At least...she wouldn't be in too much pain...

This method took...much longer, but in the end he Selena would be fine. He'd bandaged the now healing area where she'd been shot, after having removed the bullets and treated the wounds.

He was...exhausted, not used to going about any other method than his usual go to, but...

Shaking it off, he moved her to his chambers, she use his large bed; he would not get on it. He'd brought her here, he did not have any right to even be near her...especially after this.

He would not leave the room, due to needing to remain here for medical reasons, but otherwise kept his distance, seating himself on the sofa on the other side of the room.

He had planned...on severing his ties; it had started to become too much for him to bare. He had planned on severing his ties with the Human World, and remaining here in Las Noches unless specifically ordered otherwise.

He wanted to avoid the pain of making connections with others, he never wanted to feel it again...he still felt it now...

There was no other choice but to tell her the truth now though... He had left a note by her head, for when she woke up, it wasn't anything long...just a few sentences...

'I'm sorry, I lied.
I did not want to lie, but I was afraid.
I felt fear.
I'm sorry.

I've repaired your injuries, but I used a method that wouldn't harm you.
You'll need time to heal due to that.
I'm sorry.'


Obviously, he felt it would be nowhere near enough, and it would be even more painful due to the fact she'd need to remain here to heal, and also until it was safe for her to return. He had not had time to deal with the assassin...his priority had been saving her.

No amount of apologies could save him.

For now, he sat on the couch, holding his violin case in his arms to just have...something while awaited his time to become the hated monster that he...held fear of being referred to.

___________________________________________


[hus-] Haruka (Konoha) | Clear | Kotarou | Masato | Hajime | Ikki | Sakuya | Byakuya [-bandos]

「No matter when, I don’t want to forget it.
That smile is my sun.
Because the flood of love won’t stop,
I’m being filled with these feelings.
I want you to let me stay by your side.」



Last edited by Rukuya on Fri Oct 03, 2014 8:18 am; edited 1 time in total
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The ArchKitty

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 6:06 am

It took a bit of time time before a shuddering breath and a small sound heralded Selena's return to the land of the conscious. A bedroom, a bed...she shifted on it a bit... The air felt odd...she was in a bit of pain and...bandaged...? What...

Wasn't this... the afterlife? Hadn't she died from getting shot?

"Luca..." She murmured his name, wondering why she'd seen him right before it... Before she passed out... She barely had time to look around before she felt something touch her head, shifted by her own weak movements. A...paper...

Weakly, the hand that had been feeling the bandages lifted up and grabbed the paper. It was shaky but she...read it. Her voice weak, she still spoke as her hand fell back down to the bed. "Who... what...? Where...am I?"

So she...wasn't dead. But where was she? Why did it feel weird here... Some sort of special field to kill germs or something? They had healed...but lied to her? But...what...sorry?

Selena's mind was slow to react, just plodding along at a molasses esque pace it seemed.

___________________________________________

║There's no one who can beat her║
║"Good fortune comes to those who smile"║

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 6:16 am

She was waking up, he could hear the shuffling of the bed as she began to regain her consciousness. She had been out for awhile, but it had been expected.

He did not look over towards her.

Hearing his name, his shoulders tensed, his hold on the case tightening.

Why had he had to grow accustomed to...emotions, he was...better off without them. Now he felt things like fear, and felt pain he couldn't fix. He...hated this. Unpleasant did not describe how he felt...he'd realized that...

___________________________________________


[hus-] Haruka (Konoha) | Clear | Kotarou | Masato | Hajime | Ikki | Sakuya | Byakuya [-bandos]

「No matter when, I don’t want to forget it.
That smile is my sun.
Because the flood of love won’t stop,
I’m being filled with these feelings.
I want you to let me stay by your side.」

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 6:25 am

Selena looked at the note again, taking a deep ragged breath and trying to speak coherently. "H-Hello? Is...there...anyone around?"

Nurses? A doctor...the person who healed her? There was...had to be someone looking out for her... Pushing herself up only caused her to wince and let out a soft groan as she fell back onto the pillow. It seemed getting out of the bed for now would be...impossible.

The quincy gave a small frustrated sound, a weak one but still... and laid her head back against the pillow. She...didn't want to fall back asleep, she was alone in the bed with no one else... the nightmares would be awful. She must have been straight unconscious to not have had any it seemed.

Another deep breath through her nose made her perk up and sigh. "I smell Luca... whats wrong with me..."

She'd try again! Giving a groan, she sat up and ended up blinking... Now she saw a Luca in addition to the smell and that odd vision. Was he holding his violin case? She couldn't see from that distance, it was too blurry... But she'd never mistake that form. "...Luca?"

Had he been the one? How?

___________________________________________

║There's no one who can beat her║
║"Good fortune comes to those who smile"║

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 6:29 am

Again, he tensed; flinching...was a bit of a strong term...perhaps, but hearing her address him again; she had yet to notice anything strange about him, perhaps he was too far away... He...didn't want to get closer...

"...Yes." He forced himself to respond, though he still did not look towards her; he was here to treat her injuries, and make sure she recovered properly.

Once things were safe for her back in The Human World, and once she had made a full recovery, he would return her.

___________________________________________


[hus-] Haruka (Konoha) | Clear | Kotarou | Masato | Hajime | Ikki | Sakuya | Byakuya [-bandos]

「No matter when, I don’t want to forget it.
That smile is my sun.
Because the flood of love won’t stop,
I’m being filled with these feelings.
I want you to let me stay by your side.」

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 6:33 am

Selena's relief was strong enough to push aside thoughts of the odd note that Luca must have left. She smiled for a moment and sighed softly. "Were you the one who saved me? Why are you...all the way over there?"

She had to stop for breath part of the way through, weak but not willing to lay back down since she could barely see the man. He was all blurry, her nearsightedness making it hard to see him from this far away. She wanted him close...she wanted to touch him, feel his skin and feel a bit better... "Please...come closer. You know I can't see....without glasses."

___________________________________________

║There's no one who can beat her║
║"Good fortune comes to those who smile"║

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 6:37 am

Luca nodded, not that she could see; "...Yes."

She was asking him why...he was over here, and asking him to come closer...

He couldn't do that.

"...I...cannot do that unless you require medical attention." He stated, "otherwise I do not reserve the right to do so."

He was speaking in...a much more technical sense, professional, but his tone was weak...he believed that by speaking with detachment...it would hurt less. He was wrong, but...perhaps it would...eventually make it easier for himself...

...If he could just stop...caring...

___________________________________________


[hus-] Haruka (Konoha) | Clear | Kotarou | Masato | Hajime | Ikki | Sakuya | Byakuya [-bandos]

「No matter when, I don’t want to forget it.
That smile is my sun.
Because the flood of love won’t stop,
I’m being filled with these feelings.
I want you to let me stay by your side.」

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 6:43 am

"Thank you..." Selena's fogged by pain and weakness brain was slowly shuffling through things. It hadn't reached a consensus on anything yet other than Luca was behaving oddly. He was behaving the most odd he had since...since a few weeks back when she'd found out he was a fullbringer.

Had the blood phobia really...bothered him that badly? Had he had...to use it on her...?

A flash of fear crossed her face but she mastered it and looked down as she spoke. "Whats...wrong? If....you had to use your blood on me... its okay. I think I prefer being alive to...that...so please don't worry. I'm not angry... So of course you deserve the right to come over... I want you to..."

Her eyes caught sight of the note again and she frowned. "What... is with this odd note? Did you... write it too?"

Her voice was never this halting and weak normally but she couldn't help it. Part of her froze at this letter, but the rest of her moved forward with it. "If you're scared...can I help? What did you lie about?"

It...couldn't be that bad. Had he lied about the mafia connections or something? He was so scared over there... the man who never felt was afraid of her and she frowned more in worry. What was going on...

___________________________________________

║There's no one who can beat her║
║"Good fortune comes to those who smile"║

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 6:56 am

"I am undeserving of gratitude."

Luca shook his head, he did not deserve her thanks, he had saved her life yes, but...

"...I resorted to another method, one that wouldn't be painful for you; I do not want to hurt you." He explained. "The use of my blood is not what concerns me, you do not...need to concern yourself over me...I am undeserving. If I approach you, it will be quite clear that I am.

...That note is from me, yes; it...is in no way enough of an apology. You...do not want me to approach you, not me..."

He shook his head again, again...not that she could see; "There is...nothing you can do to help, it is not something that can be changed. I am sorry."

Luca's hold on the case was...unusually tight due to his own nerves, "I have...been acting oddly these past few days...you've noticed...I know; my worries...fear...has been eating away at me... I...felt backed into a corner that day, I did not know what to say...for anything was better than the truth...

I have...learned about my own emotions that I believed I lacked; I've come to know what happiness feels like, what it feels like to enjoy myself, what it feels like to care for another and make a connection with another...

...I have also learned what pain feels like, almost unbearably so...

I...hate it, this is not a pain I can fix with medicine. It's emotional...

After this...you will not have to bare witness to my unsightly appearance again. I am...cutting all ties with others. Solitude...suits a monster better, correct?"

___________________________________________


[hus-] Haruka (Konoha) | Clear | Kotarou | Masato | Hajime | Ikki | Sakuya | Byakuya [-bandos]

「No matter when, I don’t want to forget it.
That smile is my sun.
Because the flood of love won’t stop,
I’m being filled with these feelings.
I want you to let me stay by your side.」

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 1:58 pm

Selena's mouth opened to refute Luca's words, but she didn't have the strength. He was...deserving of gratitude! He'd saved her life and was caring for her, albeit in an odd manner... most unlike him...

He'd used another manner to heal her? That was relieving...and really showed how much he cared... She couldn't speak and instead listened to the man. She had noticed his odd behavior, had tried to help him feel better... but nothing had worked. It was one stress that was eating away at her and...

His words about emotions caused an obvious jolt in her, a small smile forming despite her utter confusion. Luca'd been happy and he...did care for her. He confirmed it with his words... even if his next ones were painful to hear. So had she...caused the pain he was feeling now? Why... he kept mentioning a lie... what was this lie!?

She grew worried before his final words tore at her heart. Shocked, she could only stare in fear for a moment before she started quivering

"No! No... You can't go!" Selena's body was still too weak for such things and she shook slightly with effort. Luca...couldn't go. He couldn't go away, not like this...not even for death... Will sheer force of will, she ignored the pain and turned on the bed before slipping out from under the covers. Her feet hit the floor and she wobbled and fell to her knees with a pained cry but...damn it if he wasn't coming to her she was coming to him. "I-It's...forbidden. You are not allowed...to leave me... You'd be a monster if you did! I don't care if you think you are undeserving!"

He seemed to think he was some sort of monster, well she was not above childish guilting if it meant he stayed. Precious Luca... Why was he so scared? She'd start crawling soon damn it. She didn't care how much she hurt physically right now, emotionally she was hurting worse and scared of losing him.

___________________________________________

║There's no one who can beat her║
║"Good fortune comes to those who smile"║

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 4:09 pm

Selena had been silent throughout the entire time he'd been speaking, when she finally did speak, he could only shake his head; she...was telling him he couldn't go, but...

Those words wouldn't have any meaning when...

Luca finally did turn when he heard her shuffling again; she...she was getting out of bed!? Just as she hit the floor he was at her side; "It is...ill advised for you to leave the bed with your injuries."

His hand was hovering having left his case back on the sofa when he'd come over. Looking at his hand, he retracted it; she...would not want him touching her...and...

He placed his hand over his own wrist; why...why was it trembling? It...It was unpleasant, and needed to stop...

___________________________________________


[hus-] Haruka (Konoha) | Clear | Kotarou | Masato | Hajime | Ikki | Sakuya | Byakuya [-bandos]

「No matter when, I don’t want to forget it.
That smile is my sun.
Because the flood of love won’t stop,
I’m being filled with these feelings.
I want you to let me stay by your side.」

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 4:23 pm

The senses she hadn't been paying attention to flew into full swing as she felt... hollow. There was a powerful hollow, nearby... Next to her... Selena looked up slowly, dawning horror on her features...

Luca was right there, he was trying to take care of her... But there was a hollow right there too. Lying...lying about himself...lying...monster...

She looked up, purple eyes wide as she noticed...that. Markings on his face...those were... she knew what arrancar were. These were mask...fragments... The sense of hollow was coming from him, he was extremely powerful... as powerful as her King and...

He was a hollow. Selena shook her head in disbelief, fear filling her face as she reached up with a shaking hand as if to touch his mask. "...No...Luca...its not... its not possible...you aren't...you are a fullbringer..."


___________________________________________

║There's no one who can beat her║
║"Good fortune comes to those who smile"║

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 4:36 pm

"...I wish...I severely wish...that were the case..." His tone still held the weakness it had for a while, perhaps more so.

Noticing her hand, his body froze some, and he clamped his eyes shut. She...she did not need to touch him, it...

"This...is something I am unable to fix...I am sorry."

Again, he felt no amount of apologies was enough; he...could in no way change what he was, and could in no way avoid this situation...

___________________________________________


[hus-] Haruka (Konoha) | Clear | Kotarou | Masato | Hajime | Ikki | Sakuya | Byakuya [-bandos]

「No matter when, I don’t want to forget it.
That smile is my sun.
Because the flood of love won’t stop,
I’m being filled with these feelings.
I want you to let me stay by your side.」

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 4:49 pm

He didn't...he wanted to be a fullbringer but he was an arrancar and a monster and a hollow and... Selena's eyes moved across his body, looking for the telltale sign of the hole and saw...nothing. It was probably hidden...

She was weak and as she reached up and touched his face, she felt the mask fragment with a small scared sob.

It... he was apologizing for...lying? No...for being an arrancar...

Soul eating...mindless monstrous beasts... even in humanoid forms they were wolves in sheeps clothing...

So why was...Luca one? Luca was sweet and kind...and...she didn't hate him! How...could she not know!? How could she not immediately sense it...

If it was Luca...there was...one way to find out...

With her remaining strength and fighting her shaking body, she leaned up and pressed her lips against his. She'd know...she'd know if it was him...

___________________________________________

║There's no one who can beat her║
║"Good fortune comes to those who smile"║

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 4:59 pm

Luca kept his eyes shut, not wanting to see the horror in her expression, if he did so...he could very well read her thoughts on her face...

He...didn't even need to see her face though to assume what she was thinking.

He felt her hand on his face, hearing that scared sob; he...he wouldn't move, he wasn't going to do anything. She...She just needed to get back into bed...rest...and get better...

She...She wouldn't have to see him...anymore after this...

"!?" His eyes shot open, shock on his expression for a short moment as he felt her lips on his; his first instinct was to respond, like he had every time, but after a moment or two he realized his mistake.

"I apologize...I..." Why had she....why? He wasn't...

___________________________________________


[hus-] Haruka (Konoha) | Clear | Kotarou | Masato | Hajime | Ikki | Sakuya | Byakuya [-bandos]

「No matter when, I don’t want to forget it.
That smile is my sun.
Because the flood of love won’t stop,
I’m being filled with these feelings.
I want you to let me stay by your side.」

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 5:15 pm

Selena cried softly, she never cried... but now she did as she stared up in utter betrayal and hurt at this man. No, this monster... It was Luca... "You are...Luca..."

For sure... it was for sure him.

She let tears stream down her face as she fell back against the edge of the bed from her lifted up position. There was no more strength left in her. She had nothing left, inside or out and laid there listlessly. She...never felt happier to have the physical pain that was growing stronger by the minute from her actions. It pushed away the emotional hurt.

Her Precious Luca was...an Arrancar, a monster.

___________________________________________

║There's no one who can beat her║
║"Good fortune comes to those who smile"║

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 5:20 pm

"..."

He...didn't know what to make of her words, but...he had to push those thoughts away as she fell back against the side of the bed.

She was crying, and...there was nothing he could do to help with that...as much as he wished he could...

His moved as if to help her, but...

"You...should lie back down...and rest; please, allow me to help..." He could...at least get her back into bed so she could rest. She...had to be exhausted after exerting herself like that.

She didn't need to be overexerting herself right now in the first place, especially not over him...

___________________________________________


[hus-] Haruka (Konoha) | Clear | Kotarou | Masato | Hajime | Ikki | Sakuya | Byakuya [-bandos]

「No matter when, I don’t want to forget it.
That smile is my sun.
Because the flood of love won’t stop,
I’m being filled with these feelings.
I want you to let me stay by your side.」

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 5:25 pm

Don't think don't think don't think don't think don't think.

Selena gave a tiny nod. She couldn't get up on her own...there was nothing to...think or feel... Not this burning hate...or the equally burning caring...or the feelings of betrayal and hurt...the fear of his abilities...

Or the hate she felt directed at herself. Luca...was hurting because of her, part of her still felt this strongly.

That part of her...reached out and grabbed his hand...and didn't let go...while inner parts of her fought and the outer parts laid there lifelessly.

___________________________________________

║There's no one who can beat her║
║"Good fortune comes to those who smile"║

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 5:33 pm

With Selena's permission, he moved to lift her into his arms, standing before lying her properly back in bed; he lifted the covers to her, and was about to turn around when...

...Why?

She had grabbed his hand, but he couldn't...couldn't make sense of it. He...certainly wished his hands would stop their trembling, he...it was unpleasant.

"You...should get some rest...so you can regain your strength, and get well again..."

He could return to the sofa, and keep his distance...

___________________________________________


[hus-] Haruka (Konoha) | Clear | Kotarou | Masato | Hajime | Ikki | Sakuya | Byakuya [-bandos]

「No matter when, I don’t want to forget it.
That smile is my sun.
Because the flood of love won’t stop,
I’m being filled with these feelings.
I want you to let me stay by your side.」

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 5:38 pm

Luca...tucked her in and her broken brain didn't register more than he...wanted to leave. No... He wasn't...allowed...

What did she fear more? Him being a monster or... the nightmares... None of the other emotions fled, but she was too drained and weak to bother with them for now.

Her hand tightened on his as her weary eyes closed, the tears slowing a bit. He was trembling so badly... good. No not good!

She let out a soft sound, a weak and pained one before speaking. "...Don't...nightmares...when alone...I can't...sleep alone..."

Had she ever told him? It'd never been important... Unlike Hibiki, she had felt Luca was...someone she had to keep such things from.

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║There's no one who can beat her║
║"Good fortune comes to those who smile"║

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 5:43 pm

He...couldn't leave with the grip she had on his hand; he...could likely easily get out of it, but...he would not take such unwarranted actions.

She...couldn't sleep alone because nightmares...

But he...

The hand he had eventually grasped hers in return, without his notice, further contradicting his following words; "You...should not have to settle...for me though..."

He could...He could provide her with something else... What though? He...could make a quick trip to the the World of the Living and...find a young animal, like a puppy...or kitten...

Those would be...much more suited for her...rather than him...

___________________________________________


[hus-] Haruka (Konoha) | Clear | Kotarou | Masato | Hajime | Ikki | Sakuya | Byakuya [-bandos]

「No matter when, I don’t want to forget it.
That smile is my sun.
Because the flood of love won’t stop,
I’m being filled with these feelings.
I want you to let me stay by your side.」

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 5:51 pm

"No!" Selena's voice was as sharp as she could make it right now. "Don't...leave me..."

She was so drowsy, she didn't want Luca to go and as he squeezed her hand back her eyes closed slowly. Her words were...forced... "I hate you...I hate...you...but you..."

With her eyes closed and her senses dulled... he was her Luca again and not the monster he had become. She could... pretend...

She could pretend she hated him too... She could pretend... that she would rather have someone else with her right now...

___________________________________________

║There's no one who can beat her║
║"Good fortune comes to those who smile"║

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 6:04 pm

"..."

Her words came out forced, but whether she meant them or not, they still held...some impact. He did not respond immediately, but he did seat himself on the bed.

Say...something...

"Everything...before, how I acted...my...own emotions...None of that was a lie... I truly...did enjoy myself, I was...happy...

...But I...do not deserve to feel such emotions; I...do not remember how I died, do not even remember what my life was like... That holds no meaning...anymore though...

...I...am a healer, I do not enjoy fighting...I have lived...just simply lived... I chose solitude, I was then...offered a life...where boredom would eat at me, I was given a home, instruments to play...

...I also eventually met you as well, I began to...understand my emotions that I had previously thought gone... but...I do not deserve to feel human, no matter how much I'd like to...

Because I am not..."

Luca let out a heavy breath, a tired one.

"I apologize...for speaking so much...in such a manner." He added; "Rest, and get better...you...will not have to worry about me burdening you further afterwards..."

___________________________________________


[hus-] Haruka (Konoha) | Clear | Kotarou | Masato | Hajime | Ikki | Sakuya | Byakuya [-bandos]

「No matter when, I don’t want to forget it.
That smile is my sun.
Because the flood of love won’t stop,
I’m being filled with these feelings.
I want you to let me stay by your side.」

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The ArchKitty

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 6:29 pm

Selena...hated this...hated it... Her hand squeezed Luca's as he spoke, she was too exhausted to respond much else to his words... Too drained...

None of those had been a lie then? So...monsters could feel? He wanted to be human more than anything else it seemed...

She had...helped with those emotions and pain...

On this...

"Why...can't I hate...you..." She should, she should burn with rage at this. She had briefly, but the more he spoke...the more he shook! The more scared and hurt he was she couldn't! She hurt and felt betrayed and angry but she couldn't...she hated hollows for being what they were....but he wasn't like that at all and it was twisting and turning her feelings...

"I'm hurt...and hurting and... I want to make...you feel better still... damn it...damn you... Just...lay down..." Selena's hand tugged his weakly, her eyes barely opening as she knew later...she'd be angry.

___________________________________________

║There's no one who can beat her║
║"Good fortune comes to those who smile"║

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Rukuya

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PostSubject: Re: Painful Prejudices [nsfw]   Thu Oct 02, 2014 6:36 pm

"..."

Again, he did not know how to respond to her words, she was...tired...when she rested more he did not expect those feelings to remain.

Luca had already banished the thought, and hope of any positive outcomes. There was no escaping this pain, he'd already realized...as much as he didn't want to...

Hearing her request as she tugged at his hand, he moved to lay down like she wanted. This...

She was hurt, and hurting...as she'd said; she needed the rest. Hearing that...she wanted to make him feel better still...it hurt, that...

___________________________________________


[hus-] Haruka (Konoha) | Clear | Kotarou | Masato | Hajime | Ikki | Sakuya | Byakuya [-bandos]

「No matter when, I don’t want to forget it.
That smile is my sun.
Because the flood of love won’t stop,
I’m being filled with these feelings.
I want you to let me stay by your side.」

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